Well, it finally hit me. I’m homesick. I wasn’t even sure what I was feeling for some time, until I thought about it long enough. I haven’t felt like this since I first moved away to college, which was 11 years ago. Yes, I’m well aware that I’ve been in school entirely too long… tell that to my advisor. I don’t recall ever being homesick while living in Florida, the Carolinas, or California. We’ve lived in so many places now, between work and academic commitments, that I’m generally content wherever we land.
There are so many great things about Iowa that keep me happy, like friends at school, the scenery and wild animals, the nice people, and the good food (Iowa City has everything from Indian food to Dim Sum, and it’s GOOD – like big city good).
But I miss Washington. More specifically, I miss Bellingham, which isn’t even where I grew up. I want to walk in the park in the drizzling rain and bitch about the weather. And then I want to go to the trashy Waterfront Tavern for Sim’s favorite fish and chips, with local microbrewed beer. And then to Tony’s coffee and Village Books in Fairhaven. And the next day I want to get up and go to work at Western Washington University. I miss that job so much.
But I guess, in a way, this feeling is a good reminder of why I am here. Someday I will get another job that I love. Not that I’m not enjoying teaching here, because I am, but my primary job is to be a graduate student, and it is freaking hard.
So for now, I need to keep a classmate’s advice in mind – our self-worth is not, and should not, be entirely measured by our success in graduate school. There is so much more to life.