So Sim and I have 6 dogs. Yes, 6. We know we’re certifiably crazy. But then again, so are people who have 3 children. Or perhaps any children. I’m pro-child and all, but it amazes me how astounded people become when they learn we have so many dogs. They freak out like a college student who wakes up still drunk from the night before, only to discover they have an exam in 15 minutes. Let’s not get carried away here. Dogs potty train at 8 weeks old. Okay, unless you’re my beagle and try to sneak in a midnight poop only so you can turn around a have a hot snack. But in all fairness, what kid hasn’t crapped in the bathtub? Or worse yet, the public pool? Dogs eat anything you put in front of them. They sit on command. They don’t talk back. They don’t need a babysitter. And they don’t need money to go to college. They are just looking for love and companionship.
This whole thing just brings about the inevitable baby-centric discussion that you’d think would be absent from American culture in the year 2010. People like to prod beyond politeness, they like to pity us for not knowing the joy they know, and they like to note that their life is now complete with children. I’m not buying it. Really? You were a half shell person until you reproduced? I wonder what they say to people, after advertising their smug happiness, who disclose that they can’t have children. Do they have the audacity to posit that these people can never fully be happy? There’s definite tension between dog people and kid people (ironically and controversially now termed as “breeders” for their sometimes copious procreation). What happened to common ground? Yes, we both have the choice, dog or child. Yes, we’re both overpopulating the planet and leaving a sizable carbon footprint. But why the tension? I feel like this is a bad flashback of “Jerry’s final thought” on the Springer Show – but here it goes – I think at the heart of the matter, we all just want to be respected for our decisions.